Mindful Healing, Day 10 Breathing
There is a deep fatigue in loss, isn't there? There is so much to carry.Sometimes, things spiral. Memory, regret, longing.What if, for this moment, and maybe the next, we just try to be mindful of our...
View ArticleMindful Healing, Day 11 Transformation
By date, this is my hardest day.But this year, by the mere (and mighty) act of deciding to transform this month into something positive, something mindful and intentional, not something that I am at...
View ArticleMindful Healing, Day 15 your story
For those of you along for this journey, I wanted to write about telling our stories. Specifically, the twin challenges of working/living/loving alongside those who know your story, and those who...
View ArticleMindful Healing, Day 20 Truth
So, yes, this month of Mindful Healing is not going to be a whole month after all, not a month of posts anyway. It turns out that (*SURPRISE*) thinking/talking/writing about grief and healing is...
View Article1.75ish
The amazing Della is 21 months old. Plus 13 days.Last time we were up at camp, she sat on a horse.She sings.We play imaginary everything.She pretends she is a snakeor a frogHas a pathological fear of...
View ArticleDear Laura
To the nice woman with the beautiful dark eyed baby I shared a parent meeting with once (I spent the time chasing Della and cleaning up yoghurt, you spent the time massaging your beautiful son and...
View Article2 out of 2
Daycare + start of school = sick katetwicesick now for 2 weeks with only a few days offI am very tired of being sicktired of blowing my nosetired of being tired like thistired of wincing at the...
View ArticleShady Grove, Philly Area
These folks send me info still, and I cannot quite make myself unsubscribe.For those of you in the trenches, this place does a lot with donor eggs and shared risk, and may be worth considering if you...
View Article3 days
ok, to be fair, it will be closer to 4 daysbutfor sanity's sake: 3 days away from Della. 3 nights.My first time away from her for the night EVER.By away I mean, away at all...Except one night many...
View Articlereality, and the fine thing of being home
it turns out that 3 days = eternitybadly timed air travel and a crappy hand pump meant my first experience of engorgement on the way to las vegas (holy moly, how insanely uncomfortable)remembered...
View Articleshifts
The sudden onset of CM this past week, the kind you dream of when trying to conceive in your 40s, is making me feel, well, like shit actually.I have not had a period since Della, except what I thought...
View ArticleBlog-to-book, save 10%
Want to make your blog into a book?I am sure there are some platforms that will work better than others (it looks, in fact, like it is a blogger-only-thing), but, here's an opportunity to save some...
View Articlewolves
last night i dreamed of wolves.one, in the yard, advancing toward me in spite of the noise I was trying to make, the menace I was faking.I was just simply scared, but all of my fear filled and...
View Articlealmost 2
Amazing Della photo by my amazing sister, taken yesterday at her kitchen table.
View Articleat long last
after an insanely hard journey, Mo and Will have their little one, outside into this big world, in their arms, a healthy baby girl.I am over the moon for them, stunned and awed by the beauty and magic...
View Articlesentence(s)
"That one? That pillow is Della's."Nigh on 2 and holy moly, language explosion time.And moody.And specific.And inflexible.And delightful.So much person packed into that tiny body, oh my.I'm watching...
View Articlecrazy light, the transition from wanting to having
Mo's new miracle baby, and Della's upcoming 2 year birthday have had me really thinking hard again about the bizarre and oddly difficult transition from full-time IF struggle to parenting.First, let me...
View Articlewildness
rain against the window and blowing in from the north right now.Here in NH we are due to have rain and wind, but nothing alarming.But the news is very very scary, andI'm holding hope for all of you for...
View ArticleSacred
Today, perusing Pink Coyote's blog, I came across this title:"Know That You Are Sacred"which I immediately read as:Know That You Are Scared.Yes, I said.Yes.But not in the same ways I used to be.
View ArticleUS *In which, I wax political*
Us.No,not US and THEMJust: Us.Have you seen an image of earth from space? A little blue marble, in the middle of a whole lot of mystery. It's just US folks. Us. We're all in this together.The person...
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