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Mindful Healing, Day 10 Breathing

There is a deep fatigue in loss, isn't there? There is so much to carry.Sometimes, things spiral. Memory, regret, longing.What if, for this moment, and maybe the next, we just try to be mindful of our...

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Mindful Healing, Day 11 Transformation

By date, this is my hardest day.But this year, by the mere (and mighty) act of deciding to transform this month into something positive, something mindful and intentional, not something that I am at...

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Mindful Healing, Day 15 your story

For those of you along for this journey, I wanted to write about telling our stories. Specifically, the twin challenges of working/living/loving alongside those who know your story, and those who...

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Mindful Healing, Day 20 Truth

So, yes, this month of Mindful Healing is not going to be a whole month after all, not a month of posts anyway. It turns out that (*SURPRISE*) thinking/talking/writing about grief and healing is...

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1.75ish

The amazing Della is 21 months old. Plus 13 days.Last time we were up at camp, she sat on a horse.She sings.We play imaginary everything.She pretends she is a snakeor a frogHas a pathological fear of...

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Dear Laura

To the nice woman with the beautiful dark eyed baby I shared a parent meeting with once (I spent the time chasing Della and cleaning up yoghurt, you spent the time massaging your beautiful son and...

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2 out of 2

Daycare + start of school = sick katetwicesick now for 2 weeks with only a few days offI am very tired of being sicktired of blowing my nosetired of being tired like thistired of wincing at the...

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Shady Grove, Philly Area

These folks send me info still, and I cannot quite make myself unsubscribe.For those of you in the trenches, this place does a lot with donor eggs and shared risk, and may be worth considering if you...

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3 days

ok, to be fair, it will be closer to 4 daysbutfor sanity's sake: 3 days away from Della. 3 nights.My first time away from her for the night EVER.By away I mean, away at all...Except one night many...

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reality, and the fine thing of being home

it turns out that 3 days = eternitybadly timed air travel and a crappy hand pump meant my first experience of engorgement on the way to las vegas (holy moly, how insanely uncomfortable)remembered...

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shifts

The sudden onset of CM this past week, the kind you dream of when trying to conceive in your 40s, is making me feel, well, like shit actually.I have not had a period since Della, except what I thought...

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Blog-to-book, save 10%

Want to make your blog into a book?I am sure there are some platforms that will work better than others (it looks, in fact, like it is a blogger-only-thing), but, here's an opportunity to save some...

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wolves

last night i dreamed of wolves.one, in the yard, advancing toward me in spite of the noise I was trying to make, the menace I was faking.I was just simply scared, but all of my fear filled and...

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almost 2

Amazing Della photo by my amazing sister, taken yesterday at her kitchen table.

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at long last

after an insanely hard journey, Mo and Will have their little one, outside into this big world, in their arms, a healthy baby girl.I am over the moon for them, stunned and awed by the beauty and magic...

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sentence(s)

"That one? That pillow is Della's."Nigh on 2 and holy moly, language explosion time.And moody.And specific.And inflexible.And delightful.So much person packed into that tiny body, oh my.I'm watching...

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crazy light, the transition from wanting to having

Mo's new miracle baby, and Della's upcoming 2 year birthday have had me really thinking hard again about the bizarre and oddly difficult transition from full-time IF struggle to parenting.First, let me...

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wildness

rain against the window and blowing in from the north right now.Here in NH we are due to have rain and wind, but nothing alarming.But the news is very very scary, andI'm holding hope for all of you for...

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Sacred

Today, perusing Pink Coyote's blog, I came across this title:"Know That You Are Sacred"which I immediately read as:Know That You Are Scared.Yes, I said.Yes.But not in the same ways I used to be.

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US *In which, I wax political*

Us.No,not US and THEMJust:  Us.Have you seen an image of earth from space? A little blue marble, in the middle of a whole lot of mystery. It's just US folks.  Us. We're all in this together.The person...

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